| | Note: depressing rant
Ugh. I'm sick. Been sick. Sucks being sick. And that's pretty much been my past week. And how did I get this way? Prolly due to all the lack of sleep during the three day Memorial Day w/e. Gema and I went to Vegas and watched two Cirque du Soleil shows (O and Love), both of which we highly enjoyed. BUT! Since we had like what? 3-4 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period (due to unforeseen ^%*& ups), we kinda zonked in and out of the show (ughhhhh, why?!!). What I did see though, I HIGHLY enjoyed.
We also ate really well. I mean, really well. I gained two pounds! I have no self control whatsoever when it comes to food. =P Shows and buffets. That's what I do when I'm in Vegas. Gambling? What's that? *lol*
We also ran into Streaker and Piglet as we were wandering around at night. That was unexpectedly cool. I was very happy to be back though. I don't know why. Except for the Taiwan trip, every time I vacation somewhere, I get sick. It's getting really old. Or maybe it's just me? >.>
Last night, I could not sleep. Instead, I contemplated my life. Some of the stuff I thought about I can't put here, but among the things I was thinking about was, 'Am I getting too old for this?'. I don't know. I'm 28. Shouldn't I be growing up? Should I still care this much about anime and manga? Watching it and getting a sense of pleasure from it is one thing, but I read and write fanfics for them too. Is this something that I'll eventually grow out of, or will I still be a fangirl ten years from now? Twenty years from now? When I have kids?
And there's the thing. When I have kids, am I still going to act this goofy? (I'm pretty goofy, esp. w/ Gema). What should I do w/ all my manga? I guess it doesn't matter right now, since I don't expect to be preggers for years to come (if ever), but I don't know. Shouldn't I be growing up? When do ppl grow up, anyways?
In many ways, I am grown up. My age aside, I have an education and I have a steady job. Steady relationship. I save my money. I pay my bills. I vote. I'm a contributor to society. I'm a responsible, dependable, stable person. But I still feel like such a kid sometimes!
Why do I care so much about the fictional lives of teenagers in a manga? I haven't been a teenager for almost ten years now! Am I always going to be this way? Maybe it's just a fundamental part of who I am. I don't know. Maybe it's good that I'm young at heart. But I still wonder about the whole child rearing business. If I'm a kid, how I am gonna raise another kid? Is that when I'm going to grow up? Do I really want to? I mean, I like the person I am right now. How much different will I be once I'm a parent?
It sucks being sick. Really, stinkin' depressing. *sigh* Am I the only one who thinks like this? |
| | Posted 6/1/2009 11:31 AM - 14 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
