Cinpii's Xanga

Fight!

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:12:32 GMT

Her throat was killing her. Each swallow was self inflicted torture, but of one she couldn't prevent. How does one not swallow? How does one stop the production of saliva? She swallowed again around the feel of the iron shackle around her neck. The pain lanced through her, making her sinuses run and her eyes water. She sniffed reflectively.

Sweat beaded around her temples and rolled into the greasy strands of her hair. The material of her once white tank top clung wetly to her body, the grungy material completely soaked through between her breasts, her shoulder blades, her underarms. It was hot and sticky in here. The smell of human filth and her own unwashed body permeated the air, but she had been here for so long, her nose had already acclimated to the stench.

She had to pee again, but she willed herself to be strong. She would not be so weak as to soil where she laid. Never mind that her muscles were weak from dystrophy. She willed her limbs to move. Inch by aching inch. It was exhausting work, and the shackle around her throat never relented. Only the shining hope of knowing that it was just a matter of time kept her going. She would be freed from this prison. She would not break.

The sound of heavy footsteps and the jangling of keys reached her ears. The door opened.

*****

I get inspired by real life. Just a drabble. Love to know your thoughts. =D

Cin the Protector Guardian

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:22:24 GMT

On a whim, I took the Myers Brigg personality test. The first time I learned about it was in high school, when I was taking a college course at the time (I was trying to earn advanced English credits aside from AP English). One of the projects/essays we had was to take the Myers Brigg test and write about how it pertained to ourselves. Back then, at 16 y/o, I was an ENTJ (Extroverted Intuitive Thinking Judging).

Fast forward 10+ years and I took it again. My results:

*****
Your Type is
ISFJ

Introverted	Sensing	Feeling	Judging
Strength of the preferences %
33	50	50	67

ISFJ type description by D.Keirsey
ISFJ Identify Your Career with Jung Career Indicator™ ISFJ Famous Personalities
ISFJ type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss

Qualitative analysis of your type formula You are:

moderately expressed introvert
moderately expressed sensing personality
moderately expressed feeling personality
distinctively expressed judging personality

*****

I am now an ISFJ (Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging). Dang. What a 180. Well, except the for the J part. But I was reading the description for ISFJ, and I feel like it really fits. Kinda bad for me, since ISFJs tend to become easily used and taken for granted. Well, $^&*. I don't want to say that I'm a doormat, but I'm very easy going and I can take a lot of the crap that ppl dump on me because that's just the way I am. *sigh*

Some of the characteristics of an ISFJ: (My reactions in blue)

- ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed."
It's nice being needed, damnit. Who wants to extraneous?

- ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them.
Le sigh.

- In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others.
Yah, I always say that I'm not good in big groups. In a small group though, I can prolly charm your pants off. Not that I'd want your pants. ;)

- While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well.
Gema's mine! *roar* No takies!

- Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, to run and get the nearest authority figure.)
LOL! Sad, but that is so spot on. Don't expect me to jump in after you. I abhor physical violence.

- Protectors are quite happy working alone; in fact, in positions of authority they may try to do everything themselves rather than direct others to get the job done.
So true! I hate working w/ other ppl. They just don't meet my standards. I hate how that makes me sound snotty, but I like making sure it's done right.

This link is also particularly interesting, since I'm a Guardian as well. It is so, so me it's scary.

What do you guys think? True, or a bunch of hooey? Interested enough to try it yourselves? Feel free to share your results. =D

The one toothed pumpkin

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:55:02 GMT

Note: this blog has nothing to do w/ one toothed pumpkins, so if that's what you're looking for, you'll be sorely disappointed. I just purloined this pic off google images. Anyways, moving on...

Halloween is just around the corner, and at work, I'm all decked out in my nurse outfit. =D It's supposed to be one of those sexy nurse costumes, but on me, it's not all that sexy. For one, since I'm just 5'4", the dress hits me at a decent length, and I'm wearing red ballet flats and white tights, not heels and thigh highs (or sexier yet, thigh high boots). So basically, it's work appropriate.

My coworker is in an army outfit, and it's so cute, because when you're sitting across from her at her desk, you feel like she's going to recruit you. I had always thought that Halloween was for kids, but it's totally for adults too. I am really enjoying cosplaying at work. Yah, cosplaying! At work! It doesn't get more awesome than that.

I've been getting comments left and right, but the best one so far: The UPS guy came in w/ a package, saw me and said, "Cute!" Then when he left, he said, "Be careful out there." LOL.

I have to enjoy as much of the Halloween festivities as I can today, because tomorrow Gema and I are hanging out w/ the parents. This will be the first time our parents meet. Crazy, right? Gema and I have been together for ten years already, married for one, and they still haven't met up. Well, I hope they get along and like each other. They really have no choice, anyways. XD

Hope you guys are enjoying yourselves as well. Ja!

My boss just called me a bitch

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 18:30:37 GMT

So here's what just happened:

I was looking for something in our supplies cabinet when I found last year's witch hats. My coworker and I would wear them for Halloween; it brings a nice sense of whimsy to the office. We forgot all about them this year, until I found them again. So I put it on and was at my desk doing my thang when my boss came in. English is not her first language, so sometimes she has trouble finding the right words.

She sees me and smiles and then goes, "So you're a bitch?"

LOL!

Weigh in, minna: Freudian slip, or just another flub? ;)

A jeans story

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 16:50:55 GMT

You know what makes me feel good? Knowing I can still fit into the jeans I bought back when I was 20 years old. And I know it was about ten years ago too, because there's a story behind this one as well. Gema and I had decided to spend Christmas together with his mom, so off to San Francisco we went (we rented a car and road tripped it, and got crazy lost and ended up in San Diego first, but that's another story). Since it was my first time in SF, he showed me around, and one of the places was a large mall. Since it was the holidays, the stores had sales left and right. We stepped into Anchor Blue (my first and only time in there, ever).

I made out like a bandit because I got two jeans for $5 each. Five bucks! To a college student, that's freaking amazing. What made these jeans even cooler were the details on it (it's a dark blue wash w/ cute pockets on the thighs and red stitching as accents). I loved it, and wore it throughout my college career. The bad thing though? Zero stretch. Eventually it got replaced by other jeans that had lycra. But last night I dug it out, and hey, it still fits! I had gained weight a few years ago during my first out of college job, but I'm back to my college body again. Well, minus all the extra muscles, since I biked everywhere back then, and I think my butt had filled out these jeans better too, but still. I'm happy. ^o^

What's even better? I took good care of these jeans. It's not ragged, ripped, or faded. You wouldn't have guessed it's been with me for so long. Pretty sweet. And since it's been a while, it's like I'm wearing new clothes, hahahahaha!

Do you guys have a jeans story too?

2012

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:41:36 GMT

Short and pointless, since I'm drowning in work:

In 2012, I'm gonna have eleven days off for Christmas - New Years. Woohoo! I know, it's rather early to get excited over this, but I was looking at the calender trying to figure out when the new class was going to graduate when I realized this. Eleven days instead of the usual nine.

Yippeeeeee! *does a jiggy*

I feel like I need to capitalize on this somehow. =D Sure, it's three years down the line, but we all gotta look forward to something, eh?

Calling all Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle fans

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:28:04 GMT

Note: long and confusing

Well, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle ended. When the series first started, I really liked it. I like Syaoran and Sakura, and the art was great (besides, the anime soundtrack was gorgeous). Also, the premise of Sakura not being able to remember Syaoran, even if he retrieved all of her other memories, really struck a chord in me. How sad, to go through all this crap, and the person you love most in the world will never remember you. So much heartache. I love stuff like that!

(Image purloined from http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-94518/tsubasa-reservoir-chronicle-couples/)

Turns out it didn't go the way I wanted it to, so I stopped following it. Also, it's so damn convoluted and confusing. I don't want to think so hard when I'm trying to relax and enjoy myself, yanno? But it ended, so of course I had to read the last chappie. And now I'm not sure what to make of it.

Since I skipped most of middle to latter half and just read a few chappies here and there, a lot of the significance of the ending is beyond me. I've stalked a few forums and wiki-ed it to understand it better, but even the faithful followers are confused. Oh man. If they don't get it, what hope is there for a casual reader like me?

The ending has been stuck in my head for three days now. THREE days! At first I thought it was crappy, then I thought it was good, then crappy again. I keep vacillating. I want to discuss it with someone so I can finally get it out of my head. Do any of you guys follow Tsubasa? Lemme know!

This is my understanding. Highlight for spoilers. Oh, and warning for language, I guess. Not that bad, though.

So Syaoran grew up in a world w/ Clone Syaoran and Clone Sakura as parents. They sent him to visit Sakura in Clow Country, where he fell in love with her. She gets like, the mark of death or something, so he makes a deal w/ Yuuko, the Time Witch, to search for a cure for her. His price being that he can never go back to his own world, so Watanuki (from xxxHolic) gets created to take his place. When Sakura's about to die anyways, Syaoran askes to turn back time, his price being that he becomes a prisoner of Fei Wang Reed (FWR), the dude who gave Sakura the mark of death to begin with. So now there's a clone of Syaoran in his place in Clow Country. And it actually turns out that FWR cloned Sakura right before she died, so now she's a clone too, and her real body is gone.

So they go on their journey, and go through all this crap, retrieve her memories, yadda yadda yadda, and it turns out that FWR did all this shit because he actually loved Yuuko, and she was dying, so he paused time for her so that she wouldn't, and he ruined the lives of everyone else to figure out a way to save Yuuko. So basically, FWR did it for love. Either that, or to prove that he is stronger than Clow Reed, or maybe even both. What a screwed up character.

Also, along the way, the clone Syaoran switches w/ the real Syaoran that was FWR's prisoner. Somehow, the clones get to live their life in another world, (where they get married and make Real Syaoran, see beginning of this spoiler). It's very Terminator.

But in the end, Yuuko dies anyways, FWR dies anyways, the clones (who were trapped in a glass tube never to be able to touch one another after raising Real Syaoran) get absorbed into their real counterparts. Watanuki pays the price of staying (never being able to leave the shop), and Real Syaoran pays the price of continuing (never being able to stay in one place).

Real Syaoran decides to keep traveling from world to world to find a world where it'll be possible to live with the clones (since they're inside the real Syaoran/Sakura's bodies at the moment). Sakura stays in Clow Country, and they part. And their names are Tsubasa.

So the ending is basically open ended, and not quite happy, because Syaoran and Sakura don't end up together. He will always have to keep traveling. They'll see each other from time to time, but not quite a happy ending.

Huh.

Questions:

- How much did I get right, and how much did I get wrong?

- When did Real Sakura get switched with Clone Sakura? Like, when Clone Syaoran was growing up, was he growing up with Clone Sakura, or Real Sakura?

- If Clone Sakura went off to another world with Clone Syaoran, who's the Sakura for the rest of the journey? Didn't Real Sakura's body disappear?

- Which world did the Clone Syaoran/Sakura go to, anyways? Another Clamp universe that they already drew a manga for? I read somewhere that it's RG Veda, but I'm not sure whether to believe that or not.

- If Watanuki was created to replace Real Syaoran's place in his old world, how long did he have Clone Syaoran/Sakura as parents? (I've never read or watched xxxHolic). Cuz they're trapped in a tube. Does he know they're trapped in a tube, or does he feel like that they abandoned him, or what?

- Who were Real Sakura's parents then? I thought it was Yue, but is it actually Fujitaka and Nadeshiko? Confusing, because Fujitaka was the father of Clone Syaoran, right?

- If the price was not being able to remember, why does Sakura remember in the end? Or she doesn't remember, and is just going off of her feelings for Syaoran that she developed on their journey?

- How much time passed? Like, how long was their journey?

- Was there something in the storyline that hinted that Syaoran and Sakura weren't their real names? Because that came out of the blue for me.

- Does Yuuko love FWR? Did he love her? If he did, did she know that? Is he like, a tragic character, or does everyone just plain and simple hate him?

- Since Faye has his eye back, is he still a vampire? Does he still have to suck Kurogane's blood? He doesn't need to anymore, right? Do you know the specific chappie he became a vampire? My yaoi fangirl side wants to see this!

- How did you feel about the ending?

- What do you think the title really means? The chronicles of Syaoran and Sakura, who are really Tsubasa, and whose bodies are reservoirs for memories? (I pulled that last part outta my ass).

- Think there'll be a sequel? Or you think xxxHolic will eventually answer the question as to whether they'll ever end up together? Or is Syaoran really doomed to travel forever?

Can you see why it's been in my head for three days? Arghhhhh!

It's yellow over here

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 22:24:44 GMT

Why the heck is the grass always greener on the other side? Damnit. I have the compulsion of cutting my bangs again. I mean, I like them when they're long, because then I can do the side swept bangs look, but then I look at all these magazines, and the girls' bangs are all short, and now I want short bangs. Grrrrrrr. So yah. I think I'm gonna cut them. Oh man. Cutting my own bangs always sends Gema into chuckles (because I am notoriously bad at it). I don't wanna visit the salon though, because I'm trying to save money. *sniffle* Ahhhhhhhh. What to do, what to do?

Do you guys ever cut your own bangs? Or do you leave it to the professionals?

Well, duh

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:09:37 GMT

Ever have a doh moment?

I went shopping w/ Cat over the w/e, and bought some more work clothes. Since it's still so hot, I got some sleeveless tops. Something like this (except it's white with really cute black dots and circles).

(Pic purloined from here.)

The thing is, it's sheer, so I need to wear something underneath. I bought some camisoles, but I really hate how the straps show. I can use my hair to cover it up, but when it's hot and I'm walking, I clip my hair up. What's a girl to do?

After talking about my predicament at work (they all loved the top btw, even my boss), one of the ladies suggested tube tops. Doh. Why didn't I think of that? I've never worn tube tops before though, so I guess that's why it never occurred to me to get one. Tube tops just seem so, I don't know. Scandalous. (What am I, from the dark ages???).

Well, it's gonna be underneath, so I'll be alright. ;)

Do you guys have any particular brands you like?

Suck and blow

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:01:18 GMT

Note: A lot of moaning and groaning. =P

Why does my life feel like a mess? I know it's not. I know it could be worse. I just need to wallow in a pity party before I brush myself off and get back on my feet. First of all, house hunting is just making me depressed. We were able to get another bid accepted for a really nice place in Little Tokyo. We decided not to go through w/ it due to several reasons, but the litigation was the major factor. What hurts is that this is a place my parents probably would have liked, versus the Skylights place. *sigh*

We've been looking and looking and looking. Every freaking w/e. It's either Saturday or Sunday or both. With our realtor, and on our own. And if it's on our own, sometimes it's on a weekday. It's getting really depressing. Sometimes you find a place, and then someone snatches it from you. Gah. Or sometimes, you find a place, and it's a short sale. That sucks too. Sometimes you like the place, but the area sucks. Uwah. Everyone tells me to hang in there. But damn, it really, really blows.

Work is sending me to the loony bin. There's just so many things that need to get taken care of, and since I know it's going to be a headache, I drag my feet. I've ticked off maybe, three major things off my massive to-do list. By the end of this month, I'm shooting to be finished w/ the re-accreditation report, and to move onto the federal surveys. Yay. Oh, and did I mention, my normal job on top of this, a new class starting, and the boss wanting to start some new programs? *Cin curling up into a little ball*

Oh, and I scalded my tongue or something, so now I have this freakish mass on the side of it that looks like some kind of zit. A zit on my tongue. What do you know, it matches the one on my chin. Jeebus. I'm having an awesome hair day, but no amount of awesomeness is gonna conceal this chin. >.<

It's past 3:30 pm, and I haven't eaten my lunch yet, so I'mma do so now. At least I know how to cheer myself up, albeit temporarily. *sigh*